I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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