i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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