i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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