The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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