I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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