Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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