At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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