she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
