It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
