I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
