He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
there is puke in my bra ... again
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