Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
