i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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