Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
