You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
