New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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