no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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