I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
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just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I smell like Dick and happiness
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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