ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
