Barsexuality is the new black.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
