Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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