I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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