Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
