thus making me awesome and them whores
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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