Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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