She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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