I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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