Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
