1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
