PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So much rum. So many feels.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
