it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
