i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
