So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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