It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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