i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
