I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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