dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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