I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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