We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
