I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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