just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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