We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
