hotel room ftw
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
