There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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