ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
