So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
