Midget sex pt 2 tonight
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
