I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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