New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my being single is dangerous.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
