Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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