Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
