Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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