so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Shame is for Republicans.
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