oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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