we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
