woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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