So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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