she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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