dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
