I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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