Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize